JOKES

•  HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM  Name:_______________________________________________  Nationality:(paki/afghan/other)________________________________ Sex: (female/terrorist)__________________________________  Mullah:_______________________________________________  Relative of any high-ranking ? (yes/no/will be)_____ time : 2hours or till the next sound of AK-47 (whichever later)  ***************************************************************** 1. If Imran tampers the ball thrice an over , what is percent >increase in  fall of wickets and reduction in runs ?? In that case what the success  rate in a test match and one day international ?? 
  
  2. Suppose if 35 percent of a total class is copying 70 percent of  the  total  exam paper, what is the total percentage of fraud ??To increase the total percentage of fraud to 10 percent more , which is the best way out of  those  two ??
  
   6. Explain fully Zia-ul and Musharaff theorems with full data for taking over goverments.

• ******************************************************************** 
  Subject: How to catch a lion :-)
  
  1. Newton's Method:
  Let, the lion catch you.
  For every action there is equal and opposite
  reaction.
  Implies you caught lion .
  
  2. Einstein Method:
  Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
  Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also
  run faster and will get tired soon.
  Now you can trap it easily.
  
  3. Schrodinger Method:
  At any given moment, there is a positive probability
  that lion to be in the cage.
  So set the trap, sit down and wait.
  
  4. Inverse Transformation Method:
  We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it.
  Perform an inverse transformation with respect to
  lion.
  Lion is in and we are out.
  
  5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
  We construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows
  every thing to pass it except lions.
  Then sweep the entire forest with it.
  
  6. Integration Differention Method:
  Integrate the forest over the entire area.
  The lion is some where in the result.
  So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion
  to trace out the lion.
  
  7. The Banta's Method:
  DON'T EVEN TRY. YOU'LL GET CAUGHT BY THE LION.

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